Saturday, March 25, 2006

Camp life or just life

Was at camp this week with all the year 6's. There were 100 kids and 20 adults, both teachers and parents. It was a lot of fun but it totally wore me out. Im spending the weekend watching a stack of movies and chilling out on my couch. My flatmates have gone on a over night trip and I have the house to myself for the better part of 2 days. I feel like I need a lot of me time lately. I don’t know what it is really. Maybe it’s the impending doom of my beautiful little bubble bursting. Travels over, love lost, fantasy finished, time for the real world to creep in. I know I’m excited for whatever happens next all the new adventures of career, money, house, life but in the same breath I'm worried, scared and pretty much freaked out that it may not be as good as I’ve had it.
It’s silly to think like this I know, and Im so young and there’s so much more to happen, I’ve been given the speech a million times. But until you hear it in your own head it never really sinks in. I think it’s just the ending of something that is getting my heart racing and making me hold my breath, the beginning of something new is always exciting but closing off a piece of my life, letting it go and moving on that is a different story. It was really, really hard the last time I did it. Wounds I don’t think will ever heal are still here and now I am about to move onwards, another step. It feels a lot like a step backwards but yet it is still a step in my life. My life. Deep breath Sarah, good things will come.....one can hope.

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